When Gossip Goes Too Far
by infiniteowl
Summary: Japan is getting very tired of having to constantly tell the other nations that it really WAS a dream that one time. Very. Tired. And when France unwisely decides to be France, it proves to be the proverbial straw that breaks the proverbial camel's back.


This fic was originally written for the Hetalia kink meme when I got a Greece/Japan plot bunny for a prompt that asked to see Japan getting so enraged that he pulls out his katana on the offender(s). It turned out to make for a vaguely crackish fill.

Disclaimer: Axis Powers Hetalia and its characters belong to Hidekaz Himaruya, not me.

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All the catcalls and smug smiles were beginning to grate on Japan's nerves. He knew full well that the other nations couldn't let a new piece of gossip go by without some fuss, but couldn't _one_ of them at least acknowledge that his well-thought-out and reasoned explanation on how his screaming last night had been due to a nightmare and _not_ any foreplay with Greece might just be the truth?

And when Japan had turned to America for help, the younger nation had only laughed out loud and given him a hard pat on the back, telling him "Well, that just means you need to fess up to it now! If you do, they should get bored soon and move on to other things."

Apparently, even his best friend could not believe that there could ever _possibly_ be an innocent reason for his ear-splitting screams from last night, no matter how many times Japan repeated his assertion. If anything else, the smirks on the other nations' faces only seemed to grow wider with every protest he made.

Even Greece's parallel denials only made the situation worse, and it didn't help that Turkey had gotten it into his head that he needed to "protect Japan's virtue" despite Japan insisting that he didn't need that kind of protection by a long shot.

After three weeks of enduring all of this, Japan finally had enough. At the next world meeting, he very politely asked America to be the first nation to speak, please, and gave an announcement to the rest of the nations that as much as they would like to think that his screams from three weeks ago had signaled the loss of his virginity to Greece, it had only been his reaction to a rather vivid dream he had been having that night about all anime and manga suddenly disappearing from the face of the earth.

There was silence for about five seconds after his announcement, before all of the nations, excluding Greece (who was sleeping) and Turkey (who was glaring at Greece, but that was his default mood in all situations), began laughing uproariously and tossing back statements at him like "Poor deluded Japan..." "Hey, what's that river in that European country called? Ya remember it, England?" and "Yeah, and I'm like, totally not getting frisky with Liet over here."

Japan felt his mounting irritation begin toeing the line with another emotion that was still quite unfamiliar to him.

Then France's voice piped up from the clamor of nations to declare "Ah well, if Greece is truly not Japan's lover, then that leaves him free for me to claim!" while proceeding to drape himself over a still-sleeping Greece and grinning lasciviously at the blissfully unaware expression on Greece's face.

The line was crossed.

To this day, no nation (or ex-nation, if you decide to include Prussia) is quite sure how Japan managed to go from standing at the front of the table to being at the other side of the table before they could blink or where exactly that ominous rumble of thunder came from.

All they can say accurately is that in less than the span of one second after France's statement, Japan had his katana out and had it aligned precisely with France's exposed throat. The mysterious rumbling of thunder could still be heard and France's pupils were shrinking in sync with the shadows creeping around Japan's eyes.

"Japan, mon cher..." France said, although it really came out as a squeak as his face turned a not-yet-scientifically-discovered shade of gray, "...I just naturally assumed from your announcement that you and Greece weren't an item after all..."

**"Get. Your. Hands. Off. Him."** A blinding flash of lightning made all of the nations watching in horrified fascination jump in their seats and look around wildly for the source of the lightning.

Shaking even more than Latvia after a week-long stay at Russia's house, France obediently pried his hands off Greece's shoulders and held them up in the most nationally recognized gesture of surrender.

**"Good. Now get out of the way."** Japan's voice rumbled as lightning crackled around him and the entirety of his face was obscured in shadows except for the whites of his eyes. America was clinging to England like a lifeline and England would have protested if he hadn't been clinging instinctively to America too. Even Russia looked like Belarus had just popped up in front of him wearing a wedding dress and holding out a tuxedo for him with a smile.

France, who could have been a stand-in for a stone statue by this point, didn't move an inch. A nudge from the point of Japan's katana, and he fell over with a _thunk_ that echoed throughout the silent room.

In one smooth motion, Japan scooped up Greece's still-sleeping form to rest on his shoulder and marched out of the room, his shoes sounding as loudly as chains clanking across metal.

The door swung shut after his departure, and ten full minutes passed before anyone dared to move a muscle, much less speak up.

"I think," Germany said at last, trying to sound as calm and collected as he could with his eyes still frozen wide and Italy crying into his shoulder, "that this meeting is adjourned. And that no one here will speak of this in the future. Especially when Japan is around."

Everyone unanimously agreed.

**  
Omake:**

"I can't believe I lost control like that," Japan moaned, burying his face into the pillow. "It's a good thing I can only access hammerspace when I'm mad, or else I'd be committing seppuku right now with my sword."

"Don't be so hard on yourself," Greece said, reaching out and gently rubbing Japan's shoulders. "They refused to believe you even after you made a public service announcement about it, so it's natural that you'd get angry at them."

Japan sighed but let himself relax into the motion of Greece's hands moving up and down his shoulders. "I suppose so. But I do owe France a proper 15-minute apology the next time I see him."

"You could have dispelled the rumor in an instant if you had just told them that we were already lovers, you know," Greece said with an amused smile, his hands wandering from their massaging of Japan's shoulders to his back.

Japan shook his head. "If they somehow fail to figure out that crucial fact, that's their own fault and I'm not obliged to correct them if they don't even think to ask me about our relationship status."

"Mmm. And I got to see you in your angry mode because of it," Greece murmured, his mouth close to Japan's neck now even as he kept on caressing Japan's nude back.

"So you actually like it when I get mad?" Japan asked, turning his face to look up at Greece's. "I thought you'd at least get scared at first when you woke up to the sight of me binding your hands together with your shirt."

Greece tilted his head, as if scrutinizing Japan's current facial features. "Well, you do look irresistibly sexy with that angry and possessive expression on your face. And you gave me one of the best lays I've ever had in my life." Upon seeing Japan's responding flush, he chuckled softly and cupped his lover's cheek. "Still, I prefer you this way. At least like this, I have an actual chance of topping."

"You're insatiable," Japan said, shaking his head again and flushing deeper, but he didn't hesitate in snaking an arm around Greece's neck and pulling him down for a kiss.


End file.
